Friday, September 3, 2010

I am a kind girl, only not to ME!

I read a good passage in the new book I’m reading, Beautiful Lies, by Lisa Unger. She had just met the new guy in her apartment building and was very attracted to him. She was most attracted to him because of his kindness and that surprised her. I liked the passage so much that I underlined it. During the day I kept thinking about how being kind makes people attractive and memorable. That’s the best sort of reading, isn’t it? When it bumps into us and causes us to expand our thinking.

I have thought about how kindness from another has changed my life. And how it’s one of the characteristics a person has or doesn’t have that makes me remember them after they are gone. Gone, either from my life, or from losing them in death. Meanness in people can make them just as memorable. Memories of my daddy always seem to be centered in some kindness he did me or someone else. He was so graced with kindness…in every word, look and deed.

I’ve not spent much time being kind to me. Sometimes I do. Sometimes I don’t. It is a trait that comes easily for me with other people. But why do I find being kind to me is such a chore?  I’ve certainly not been kind to me since June when I could not stay on my diet, losing weight. I have no patience, no love for the person I have been in the last three months. I’ve been so disappointed that I haven’t wanted to post to my shiny new blog, because I had the notion that it was going to be all about how successful I was. How skinny I was becoming. It didn’t turn out that way, so far. Never would I treat another person with the disgust and disappointment I have felt toward myself. I haven’t solved it, but I have evolved enough to consider it.  I've fallen, and I need to pick myself up.

Here are scriptures I like:

Ephesians 4:32

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

I Corinthians 13:4

“Love is patient, love is kind,…..”

Here’s that passage I like so much from Beautiful Lies by Lisa Unger:

“I’ll tell you something about myself. I can get my head turned by a good-looking guy as much as the next girl. But sexy doesn’t impress me; strength of character impresses me. But most of all I’m impressed by kindness. Kindness, I think, comes from learning hard lessons well, from falling and picking yourself up. It comes from surviving failure and loss. It implies an understanding of the human condition, forgives its many flaws and quirks. When I see that in someone, it fills me with admiration. I saw it in him. His eyes, a deep brown, almost black, heavily lidded with dark lashes, made me want to confess all my sins and secrets and do penance in his arms.”


  1. I think God really intended for me to hear this message today (about kindness). It was part of my devotion reading and this is the second blog entry I've read dealing with it!

    I like the step further you've taken it...being kind to yourself.

  2. Hi Jenny. Great post and so true. I think many of us struggle with being kind to ourselves as well as forgiving ourselves and even being able to see our own good and worthy qualities. We arrived in the States about 2 hours ago after a wonderful week in Vancouver. Our room has Internet tonight so I'm making the most of it. Will try and post on my blog tomorrow night. It sounds like you are making progress in your spirit which is fantastic. I have acess to my email too while I'm on the road if you want to contact me.

  3. Oooohhhh, I'm so pleased to hear from Kelly and Sandy! My little band of followers! Sandy, I was walking around in a dark house an hour ago and wishing I knew where you are! And then I found this. We'll be looking for your blog..and I'll write e-mail to you also. I hope you are feeling well and continue to have a beautiful vacation. Kelly, it's so nice to write something and it help another person! I love hearing from both of you.

  4. I have been on my journey to lose weight since January. When I initally started, I knew that I also wanted it to be a spiritual one as well. I soon discovered the same things you are discovering. I was cruel to myself, I treated myself like I would NEVER treat someone else. And like you I posted about it. I kept posting about my struggles, my dissapointments, my "failures". I posted all the way through it and something started to happen. I started to mentally work through all those things. I started to forgive myself, be kinder to myself, to believe in myself - and I lost weight. I've kind of hit a wall again lately, but I know that if I continue to trust my body, trust myself, and trust my god, that it will work it's way out and I will lose weight again. If I can give you any advise, it is this - blogging when it's hard and difficult is much more beneficial then when you are succeeding. It's in those moments that you will truly learn! Also, be on the search of how you can come to love yourself and be accepting of yourself. I look forward to following your journey!

  5. What a lovely comment, Sam! Thank you so much. I appreciate the advice of blogging through the failures. I've felt that the last few days. But I would compare myself to the people who start and never look back. I'm looking foward to hearing more from you!