Near-Drowing Accident

Reported by Miss Skinny-Minny-Sleeveless-Dress Reporter from Lox News  AP

     In the early morning hours there was a near drowning at the home of Miss Jenny. She reports that she drifted to sleep in her recliner, holding her baby, Harry Patootie Laptop. She jerked awake when her large glass of water spilled all over her jammies and Harry Patootie’s keyboard.
     Mr. Jenny complained that he was rudely awakened by Miss Jenny yelling that she had just drowned Harry Patootie. Miss Jenny is credited with fast thinking and quick CPR on little year-old toddler, H.P. Laptop. She says that she flipped him over, and water ran out of all of his orifices. She gave him up for dead when she heard terrible sizzling noises coming from his poor little body and his face turned black.  A little later, Miss Jenny found a big, fluffy bath towel and lay Harry Patootie over on her best wool rug, with his body, face down, resting on the towel.
     Miss Jenny grieved greatly, weeping into her pillow, knowing that she would have to plan a funeral. It did not relieve her spirits to know that there was a $300 life insurance policy on little Harry P. She says she googled similar drowning accidents, and the reports were grim.
     At 8:30 a.m., Monday, Miss Jenny’s son insisted on plugging little Harry Patootie’s body into his life source. There was much rejoicing when, without coughing or sputtering, the toddler awoke, singing. Miss Jenny and her family agree that a real miracle happened this morning. When the Lox reporter left the home, Miss Jenny was sitting in her recliner, tears rolling down her face, cradling little Harry Patootie Laptop.